Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
