New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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