I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
