i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
