Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
