Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
