hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
