you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
