chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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