Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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