Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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