There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
