At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
