who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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