Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize