Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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