I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
