but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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