Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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