First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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