so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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