you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
