The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
