If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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