wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
