Yo dont text me then not text me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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