he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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