Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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