i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
