I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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