i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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