He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize