Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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