i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
