So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
