even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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