if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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