I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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