I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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