I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
