EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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