Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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