Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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