Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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