his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
