did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize