Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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