just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
