i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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