I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
