Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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