Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
