I want to stick my p in your. b.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
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He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
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Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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