I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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