Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
