I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
