Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
