Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
