Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
that is very illegal...i love you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
