i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My life is pants optional.
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