thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
