I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
