Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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