Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
