We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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