fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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