my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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