I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
