Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Randomize
